Monday, April 23, 2007


She's Joking Right?

Limits on Toilet Paper? The Napkin Sleeve?

This has not been a good weekend for the so-called environmental movement. First I had to wade through the Forest killing, wild-eyed irony of the Vanity Fair Green Issue (see below) and now all sorts of crazy reports in the Post on some of the grand plans of the new green dynamic duo of Sheryl (read Cherl) Crow and Laurie David.

Here's some highlights on from the Post from their blog:

Crow: I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required.

(Elephant: I'll do this one better. In South East Asia they don't use toilet paper, but rather have a bucket of water near the squat-hole. You use your hand and the water to clean you behind. This is why you NEVER offer out your left hand in South East's your poop hand.)

Crow: I also like the idea of not using paper napkins, which happen to be made from virgin wood and represent the height of wastefulness. I have designed a clothing line that has what's called a "dining sleeve." The sleeve is detachable and can be replaced with another "dining sleeve," after usage. The design will offer the "diner" the convenience of wiping his mouth on his sleeve rather than throwing out yet another barely used paper product. I think this idea could also translate quite well to those suffering with an annoying head cold.

I'm pretty sure that last one is a joke right? The Napkin sleeve? I mean surely she jests? And one square?! Lord!

This weekend I saw a commercial from Walmart encouraging all of their customers to buy just one compact fluorescent bulb. If we all did (I currently have 10 installed at home) it would be as if we took 1,000,000 cars off the road. In the end, the evil Walmart will likely do more to cut emissions this year than all of the environmental organizations combined.

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