Elephant In Exile

Catalogue Hell: Level 5


Wow, buy something from a catalogue once, and every bozo with a mail order fetish inundates you with the 'unique' collection of 'whimsy' and "joy".

After swimming home from work (it was 100 degrees with 100% humidity here in DC), I found my mail box again stuffed with these collections of crap. Some were the usual, The Sharper Image, Dell, etc. But among the glossy encyclopedias of bourgeois trinkets was a real gem. The name of it escapes me, but trust me it's a winner.

The catalogue itself seemed strangely obsessed with birds, and focused on chickadees in particular. My favorite is pictured above, it's titled "Mad Blue Bird Signed Photograph", a steal at $89.00 (plus S/H).

The description reads:

A portrait of an adult male Eastern bluebird looking thoroughly grumpy, this delightful image by award-winning wildlife photographer X, first appeared on a National Geographic Brochure (Ed: Brochure?!) Today it may be the most famous bird picture ever taken.

But it just begs the question...What would a signed "Mad Blue Bird" photograph say?

My guess would be...

Dear Elephant,

F*ck Off!

The Blue Bird.

Like I said, a steal at $89.00 (Plus S/H).