Tuesday, March 29, 2005


Please Stand to the Right

Something odd happens in DC toward the end of March and stretching into April and May. Suddenly, like birds migrating north for the summer, the city is besieged by flocks of tour buses that disgorge thousands upon thousands of visitors. I say, "Thanks for coming!" There is nothing better than DC in the spring time. The cherry blossoms give the central core of the city (The Mall and Tidal Basin) a glowing pink hue and the weather is (usually) mild and sunny. So come one, come all and spend your hard earned cash in America's Capitol, it's a great place. But here are some pointers so as not to enrage the locals.

Helpful tips for visitors to Washington DC:

1) If you're here to visit the cherry blossoms, please don't strip the branches off the trees. Yes, that small twig of blossoms behind your ear really goes well with your Dale Earnhart Jr. T-shirt and leggings, but if everyone broke off a little piece, we'd be left with just stumps.

2) Metro is a great way to get around, but unlike the mono rail at Disney World, Metro is the main way a lot of us here get to work. When you're on the escalators (at least the ones that are working) please stand to the right. (You may get a vague sense that this is the right thing to do by all the signs asking you to do this, or by the red faced locals shouting at your to move over).

3) If you and your family need a moment to get your bearings while on Metro, the best place to do it is not at the top of the escalator.

4) When disembarking your tour bus, make sure the tour group spreads out evenly to cover the entire sidewalk, this allows for impromptu games of "Red-Rover" with the locals.

5) No one will really want to watch your video of the really, really long escalators at Woodley Park Station.

On behalf of the residents of the District of Columbia, I thank you.]

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