Elephant In Exile

It Goes to the Highest Levels

Like real estate, Washington is all about location, location, location. In other cities the ice-breaker question at happy hour might be.."so what's your sign?" In DC the question is always, "So who do you work for?"

That being said, it is important to know the vast scale of the Abramoff scandal, and how, inadvertently, it seems to have netted both yours truly, my good friend Donkey, and even professional skeptic and left coast correspondent Midgie. Here we go.

First, Elephant (that me!) 1, is friends with Donkey. In 2003, Donkey and his friends formed the "Coalition of the Swilling" (yes, oh so clever) that included members of Washington's media elite (2). Meetings of the coalition were held at the divey- Big Hunt. Emily Miller (3) was a member of the coalition. Miller, as is now being reported, was dating Michael Scanlon (4) partner of Jack Ambramoff (5). Abramoff was fleecing folks around the country, most notably Indian tribes(6), and using his pot of money (7), to unethically, and illegally influence a host of members of Congress (8). Michael Scanlon allegedly dumped Emily for a manicurists (9, here represented by Madge - who incidentally Donkey used to work with back in his advertising days!). So with Scanlon (4) banging Madge (9), Emily Miller (3) allegedly went to the FBI to give up Scanlon (4) and Abramoff (5). Meanwhile, Emily decided to take a break and go to LA to relax. Elephant (1) put her in touch with Midgie (10) so Midgie could provide Emily with details on LA hot spots where Ms. Miller might run into her favorite celebrity Reese Witherspoon (11).

Incredible I know. It is so hard to work in this town and not be tainted by scandal. And just remember, your G-level blogger Elephant told you first!