Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Kansas
It's Super-Natural
Dude, I don't like to look down my nose at the good folk of Kansas, but they keep pulling me in with their ongoing provincialism. In an effort to assuage those of weak faith on the issue of teaching evolution (why again is this an issue?!), they've altered the curriculum standards to redefine the definition of science from "The quest for looking for natural explanations for observed phenomena" to include 'supernatural' explanations. So with that in mind, here are some new theories for natural phenomena in Kansas:
Thunder= Angels Bowling
Intelligent Design= 1) Theory that life is so complex it must have a supernatural designer, 2) All that cool stuff at Target.
Rain: God is crying, probably because of "The Gays"
Eclipses: God is hiding the Sun to punish the wicked, people of faith must execute all local witches to have it return.
Good Luck Kansas..You'll need it.
Dude, I don't like to look down my nose at the good folk of Kansas, but they keep pulling me in with their ongoing provincialism. In an effort to assuage those of weak faith on the issue of teaching evolution (why again is this an issue?!), they've altered the curriculum standards to redefine the definition of science from "The quest for looking for natural explanations for observed phenomena" to include 'supernatural' explanations. So with that in mind, here are some new theories for natural phenomena in Kansas:
Thunder= Angels Bowling
Intelligent Design= 1) Theory that life is so complex it must have a supernatural designer, 2) All that cool stuff at Target.
Rain: God is crying, probably because of "The Gays"
Eclipses: God is hiding the Sun to punish the wicked, people of faith must execute all local witches to have it return.
Good Luck Kansas..You'll need it.
